3 January 1999
Pilgrimage To Nowhere

As I walk
And as I walk
Too Far
Not far enough
-Whose footsteps shall I trace-
Or is this a path never taken before?

I am alone
Today, alone
Speaking in a low voice
To avoid inquiring stares.
I get the most sensible answers from me
Or maybe just the ones I want,
Still I am satisfied.

Blackened soles bleed
-Shoes are a luxury I do not allow-
I have indulged myself before
That is why am walking,
Walking all alone.

Time does not stand still
It is the noose around my neck
And every step could be my death
But I have dared myself
To take this one last chance.

I do not fear the night
The dark blanket comforts me.
Sunset resumes the affair
That I fought long ago
And even a cool breeze
Could be the arms that once held me,
But tonight.

The break of day justifies my journey
Where I’m going
I do not know
And yet there is a comfort
In this new uncertainty.
Time does not release,
But I have never felt release
So I do not mourn the loss
Of what I haven’t had.

Speak to me this night of who I used to be.