HABITS

Stares at himself although nothing has changed
Nothing will alter, I can't locate my rage
Only a threat to other parts of me
I have discovered so many choices to be made

I don't know if I should even pick up the battle
And if I go ahead with it
What to do next

If I turn off the light
There'll be nothing to see
Temptation may disappear
Crawl under, then out
Present itself to me

A different shape
I can't break free
The hole in the wall for the cynics to view
Sad, hateful bars on the windows

I smoked and I hated
Until I died in myself
And I felt so berated

Drank my impression to death
Sank into the floor
I can turn back the clock
Still it won't change the time

Stole myself away from me
With the battle, the danger, the screen
The hand of control strikes the face of no pain

But the strength isn't there to steal me again
I have changed as time is reversed
Only the bottle keeps me from him
On the other side of the table
Is who I should be
Still the habits I breathe
Speak diligently
For the death of me


9/12/98