21 January 1999
Weary Afterbirth

Speechless,
Well I’m just the fool
The day of my birth was a loud signal
To all the hated world.

Despair arrived with no hair
And for a time lived without a care
But even the careless have to suffer.

Occasional misfortune
It all seemed well deserved
Orphan child of child mother
One didn’t know better than the other
But one still remained unheard.

Security in the arms that held
Saviour sought, I felt compelled
To find the truth behind the lies
And soothe my rueful cries

It came disguised as love,
Unbound
With one look
I thought my soul was found
But selfishness on both our parts
Tore at my new-born heart
And my profile hit the ground.
What a most pitfall sound.

They call my life
A trivial pursuit
No-one understands
And no-one is free
They think I’m trying to recruit
Another quick or selfish root
To make themselves feel better
Just for screwing me.

A little princess, I think not
Perfection only when satisfaction remains
They do not see
The bloody tear stains
And are blind to
Any hurts and pains.
Assume a smile could mend a heart
Still what can break my chains?